Feeling better now

The reason I cut it short a few hours ago, was that I was feeling very sick, my head was pounding, and I thought I was going to vomit. I was really dizzy and cold, so I went to my room and slept on and off for the past hour. I feel much better now.

Okay, so what else can I tell you? Well, I like this boy...well hes not really a boy, hes quite older then me, but he is adorable and sweet. I know that some people might not approve, and he might not even like me back, but I think its good that I am ready to date and have fun again. Thank god it only took 5 months on and off. XD I was foolish, I realize that now. I thought I was 'In Love', I wasn't I know that now, it was only hormones, and my feelings' getting in the way of really seeing what was right in front of my face. Its a shame that a person can fool them self's into believing something that might not even really be there. I think the first time I even told him I loved him, I was more scared of loosing him to another girl, so I told him I loved him, because he had told me first. So that I would like to think I was trying to protect something that I wanted to be mine and only mine, weather I really did love him or not. Later in that relationship it became more of a hormones thing, I think. I'm not sure. I would love to say that it was ONLY hormones and nothing else, but those pesky feelings for people develop. And even when our relationship ended two times, it was more like I didn't wish to let go because then I would be loosing something I wanted to be mine, YES I AM KINDA POSSESSIVE. I know this. I hate it.

I am possessive and I get jealous, and I second guess myself about EVERYTHING! So guys, you just have to learn to deal with it. No, I do try to change, but I guess growing up as an only child, you never have to worry about sharing things. I don't know, I just might be really selfish.

So yeah anyway, I like this guy, my mom knows about it, she doesn't really mind, but I also think she doesn't believe anything would ever happen between myself and this guy. My best friend also knows, but she wouldn't say anything.

I picked put two of the three outfits for my senior pictures.

I have this really nice sun dress, a white shirt and jeans, and I still have to come up with one more. I'm having a professional do them because I can't do them myself.

Okay I think thats better. So yeah thats all for today I think, well really its a new day I guess.

Peace and Love

N_Z

ps. I think I am going to make a whole post devoted to quotes from books, someday.