Feeling better now

The reason I cut it short a few hours ago, was that I was feeling very sick, my head was pounding, and I thought I was going to vomit. I was really dizzy and cold, so I went to my room and slept on and off for the past hour. I feel much better now.

Okay, so what else can I tell you? Well, I like this boy...well hes not really a boy, hes quite older then me, but he is adorable and sweet. I know that some people might not approve, and he might not even like me back, but I think its good that I am ready to date and have fun again. Thank god it only took 5 months on and off. XD I was foolish, I realize that now. I thought I was 'In Love', I wasn't I know that now, it was only hormones, and my feelings' getting in the way of really seeing what was right in front of my face. Its a shame that a person can fool them self's into believing something that might not even really be there. I think the first time I even told him I loved him, I was more scared of loosing him to another girl, so I told him I loved him, because he had told me first. So that I would like to think I was trying to protect something that I wanted to be mine and only mine, weather I really did love him or not. Later in that relationship it became more of a hormones thing, I think. I'm not sure. I would love to say that it was ONLY hormones and nothing else, but those pesky feelings for people develop. And even when our relationship ended two times, it was more like I didn't wish to let go because then I would be loosing something I wanted to be mine, YES I AM KINDA POSSESSIVE. I know this. I hate it.

I am possessive and I get jealous, and I second guess myself about EVERYTHING! So guys, you just have to learn to deal with it. No, I do try to change, but I guess growing up as an only child, you never have to worry about sharing things. I don't know, I just might be really selfish.

So yeah anyway, I like this guy, my mom knows about it, she doesn't really mind, but I also think she doesn't believe anything would ever happen between myself and this guy. My best friend also knows, but she wouldn't say anything.

I picked put two of the three outfits for my senior pictures.

I have this really nice sun dress, a white shirt and jeans, and I still have to come up with one more. I'm having a professional do them because I can't do them myself.

Okay I think thats better. So yeah thats all for today I think, well really its a new day I guess.

Peace and Love

N_Z

ps. I think I am going to make a whole post devoted to quotes from books, someday.

Not so much

Okay so far summer has been shitty, I hate summer, I need to go back to school like NOW! I miss seeing my friends everyday and having something constant in my life that keeps me occupied. At the moment I have a headache and I'm sleepy, but my parents went out and its storming, and I don't feel like moving from my spot at the computer. I'm lazy what can I say.

Okay on Friday, you will never believe what I saw...there was this woman who must have been in her late 30's and pregnant, no that not what you wont believe, she was smoking! I have nothing against smoking, I have been known in the past to smoke, also my mom smokes, along with many of my friends, but I'm sorry if your pregnant, I don't think you should be smoking. =[ I'm pretty sure her baby will now be retarded.

Okay sorry to cut it short but I'm going to lay on the couch.

Peace

N_Z

Lost of things going on

Okay I am very sorry, on Thursday, the first half of my post wasn't there [ I have NO clue on what happened ].

So on Thursday, my mom, step-dad, and I, went to my step-dads friends funeral. I drove us all the way there in the rain. So yeah, I didn't know they guy who died, but I went anyway. On the way back, we stopped at Long John Silvers for dinner, mom drove on the way home after that. Well on the way home thies two kids on a crock rocket, came up between us and the car beside us. Then two cop cars were chasing them. Later down the highway, we saw the bike had crashed in to the jersey barrier. [ The rest of this was already posted. ]

So now, my step-dads, ex, sister-in-law, died of cancer. My mom and s-dad have been fighting about this no stop, my s-dad wanted [ and did ], to go to both of the viewings for 2 hours a piece, and he was going to go the funeral. He expected my mom and me to go to, but that's not our family. My s-dads daughter, told my mom that she had to get all of the food, and that's not fair anyway considering we're not part of the family, so my moms pissed at his daughter.

So, tonight, we are going to the viewing for like an 1/2 hr. And tomorrow, we are going to set up the food for after the funeral [ haha I got out of going ].

Yesterday, I applied to, FYE, Old Navy, Hot Topic, Jurnies, and a sports store. Only Old Navy called me back. I have a interview on Thursday at 3. Now, I don't know if they have anything against face piercings or not, I realllllllyyyyyy hope on the NOT part.

So as for now that's all.

Peace and Love,
N_Z

Opps

Some of my post got deleated...I'll post the first part tomarrow...Sorry my step-dad needs on.

Peace and Love
N_Z

Rainy day

them, the bike was wrecked, the one guy was in cuffs, crying his eyes out, and the Today it was very hot with lots of humidity. That's the worst thing about living in PA is the humidity. The only time we don't have any, is in the dead of winter. I didn't do anything really today. When my mom came home from work, she told me we had to go to a funeral. My step-dads friend died at the age of 80 something. I didn't know him, but I had met him in the past. My step-dad and him were really close friends. So we went to the funeral, I drove all the way there, in the rain. Then my mom drove back. We stopped at Long John Silvers for dinner. I wanted to drive back, but mom said she wanted to get home faster [ even if I drive well, she still seems to get us places faster then I do ]. On the way home, two young kids on a crotch rocket, came up between our car and the one beside us. Two cop cars came down the rode after him. When we later passed them, the one guy was in cuffs crying his eyes out and the other guy was on the ground, all bloody. I told my mom I should have called the news stations to get it on the TV. I didn't, but it will probably be on it any ways.

Now I'm siting here, at the computer, I did a survey on myspace [ because I am a doork ], drinking some Dr. Pepper, and my step-dad wants on the computer.

So thats all for now.

Peace and Love
N_Z

Driving

Today I got to go see my new car. Now, my step-dad owns a car dealership, and I get a car for free [ the first one only ]. So far, I have had a purple Sunfire, a red Escort, and now I have a blue Cavalear. My step-dad sold all the other ones because I wasn't really driving. I had to get my permit renued, and I had to agree with my 'rents that I would drive every day. So today I learned to parallel park. Its not really that hard.

Tomorrow I am going to my moms work, and hang out there.

I don't really feel like typing anymore, I'm kind of tired.

So that's all for tonight.

Peace and Love
N_Z

Family =/

Today I spent most of my time in my room playing video games because my step-dads son came over. I don't like him because he tries to tell me what to do. He calls me a liar, and says that I don't have any manners. He tries to be like my dad, and tells me "Not to talk to him in that tone of voice." Gah! I hate being told what to do, especially by someone I don't even like. So I played some Atari Pong and watched School of Rock [ one of the funnest movies ever ], and only came up stairs for food and H2O.

I got a phone call last night [ well actually really early this morning at 4:30 am ], it was one of my best friends, Andrew. He called to tell me that he just got released from the hospital, he had to go because of a seizure he had. They are not sure what caused it at the moment, but the took all kinds of test and scans. I can only hope that he is going to be okay.

Right now, I'm drinking some water, and listing to some of the White Stripes new CD [ its very good, I like it the best so far ]. My back kind of hurts not really sure why. I am really hoping the movies call me back about a job. If they don't call this week, I'm going to apply at a Subway near my house, Andrews mom and sister are both managers there, and he told me I'd most likely get a job right away.

Well since today was pretty boring, I have nothing else to say. So if anyone that is reading this blog, tell me how I'm doing. =]

Peace and Love
N_Z

Sales, sales, sales, every girls dream...

Oh! WOW! Today my mom and I got into the car and drove to her old street where she grew up because they were having a hole neighborhood garage/yard sale. There I got two mismatched earrings ones a heart and the other is a bear claw print with a blue stone, they are both silver. I also got a yellow beaded necklace, and big blue circle earrings, both are super cool and retro. My mom bought 4 books, as a total we spent, $0.95. Then we drove to Jeannette, and went to two there. At the first one we didn't buy anything, though I wanted a newer Polaroid camera [ mine is from the 70's ]. The second one my mom bought some little cat statues that used to come with that one kind of tea. And I bought, [ the best freaking thing any game girl needs is... ] an ATARI FLASHBACK 2, fucking a! I was so happy! The lady wanted $5.00, but she asked how much money I had, I had 2 bocks in my pocket [ really that's all that I had ], and she was like, "Okay, take it. So I got the coolest thing ever that any game girl needs. =] Then we found another that I bought a necklace with really cool homemade beads.

We stopped at this little deli that my mom knows the owner of, and while we were getting some food [ I got a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich, my mom got a meatball sandwich ], my mom was talking to the one girl she knows and all of a sudden I felt something on the back of my neck. I grabbed at it two times before I got it. I looked at what i had in my fingers and it was this big black and brown spider. It scared the living crap out of me, I threw it to the ground and stepped on it, before I could even think. It only happened in like a 30 second period, but after that I kept having that creepy crawly feeling all over my body. I just wanted a shower really bad, after a while I got better though, but I'm still creeped out. =/

[ When I came home to pee, I was sitting down and guess what there was in the corner of my shower was another spider, gah! I hate spiders, they are my #1 fear. =( Dumb things. ]

When we came home we saw that our own street was having yard sales [ we had no idea ha-ha ]. So we stopped down a few houses, we didn't buy anything at those ones, but there were two sales on the street behind ours. I bought a pretty retro bag with flowers on it. So my total for the whole day was $4.50. I think I did very well. =]

And just last week I bought a straw bag made in the 70's for a dollar. =] I love yard sales, they are the best thing I think. As they say "One mans junk, is an other mans treasure."

Tomorrow, I think my mom and I will hit up the flea market at the one drive-in in Latrobe.

Tonight, after I was home for a bit, I set up my Atari, and looked in the attic for my only Super Nintendo. I hooked both of them up in my room. For either my birthday in November, Christmas, mom promised me a Nintendo Wii. =] I'm very excited for that, I only wonder how many game systems my T.V. can take, ha-ha.

I am now eating Twizzlers, that are the different colors and flavors, I don't really like the orange ones or the blue or red ones, they have that food coloring taste, but the yellow, green, and purple ones are very good. Yummy. =]

Okay, well I think I will go to sleep in a bit, I'm going to play some Sudoku on the comp, then I might go play some pong, ha-ha.

More tomorrow.

Peace and Love,
N_Z

hmmm...

Yesterday was great I got to go to my Grams, she made homemade white pizza, and a red one. My grandma is half Italian, and half Polish, so she makes the best food. =P YUM! Then my mom drove me to the mall around 2 and I was there till 6 with Ren, my best friend. I bought a new pair of sandals that are really cute. I talked to the girl working at Natures Habitat, and she told me I would have a good chance of getting a job there during August, because she has to go back to college in Virginia. So I'm hoping the movies call me back and if anything I get the job there, keep it for 3 months, then hopefully get a job at the mall working in Natures Habitat. =] So then my "other mom", Rens mom, came to pick us up and we went to Berlingtons Coat Factory [ I love that store ], mom got me a new shirt, according to her it was my report card gift, because I got a 94 GPA. we went grocery shopping, then we got milkshakes at chick-fa-lay, I got strawberry, Ren and mom got chocolate. Then I came home and fell asleep around 1 am.

Today I woke up at 12 pm. My mom called to wake me up, and I still happened to be in bed. So yeah, I cleaned up the house. Then since its Friday night, my 'rents always go out to dinner, so I actually took a shower and washed my hair [ ha-ha this is a running joke with my friends and I about us taking showers regularly, I do, others of my friends do not ha-ha its really not as bad as it sounds ]. So we went to Fox's Pizza Den, yum, I got the fishy sandwich. [ I'm not sure if I mentioned before that I am a vegetarian, and will be for a year in a little less then 4 months ], so yeah, it was good. Then we went over to a friend of my moms, bar. We were there until about a half hour ago.

Now I feel I must explain. Since I have been a baby, I have hung around bars. My mom has had many good friends that own bars and restaurants. The first place we ever went to was my "Uncle Fuzz's" place, now he is really not my uncle, or his name is Fuzzy, but that's what I have called him by since I was a baby. My 'rents would go there pretty much every night for dinner. There I learned how to play pool. We went there up until I was about 9. We also used to go to the Ukraine Club, another bar. Then there is Jimmy Chicks Place, is where we were tonight. And my relatives Double C's bar. We go there a lot, only because we are related to them.

Now growing up pretty much in bars have taught me many things. It was fun, I would get lots of money from the drunks, to play music and such, I learned to play pool [ I'm quite good at it, if i do say so myself ], I can play darts, and I learned how to make mixed drinks by the age of 7 or 8. My mom was a bartender for a while so I was there more often. If there is one think I know I could do for some good money would to become a bartender.

Right now I should probably be getting to bed, but i'm quite awake, listing to Cute Is What We Aim For. I <3 them. =] One of my cats is on my dest trying to type with me on the keybord. Its funny.

So thats all for tonight, I'll post something tomarrow.

Peace and Love.
N_Z

Epp I am up =/

Oh my goodness, I am awake! It is 8:30, I have been up since 7:45. This is the earlyest I've been up the past two weeks. Today is the first day of the summer sostice. YAY for summer. I love the heat, I just dont like not having school. Last night I called my bestfreind and I was reading an e-mail, [ thats why I called her ], well the e-mail wasnt important to us, beacue we dont live in Phyillidaphia, [ other side of the state ], so we were talking on the phone and we made plans to go to Borders at the mall today, then i get a call from my grandma, and her and my mom made plans to go up to her house. Sooo, GAH! I had to get up early. I am going to my grams for lunch and to hang out there for a bit, then i am going to mall, to hang out with my bestest friend. I am happy.

So last night I stayed up till 2 am. I couldnt sleep for some reason. And it was really strange because I cleaned my room [ and i ALWAYS sleep better when my room is picked up and all nice and neat, { I'm strange like that } ], so my room was massivly clean. I threw a bunch of garbage away, like all my school stuff i wouldnt need for next year, and other junk, i even cleaned out my closet a bit. I plan on donating some of my clothes and stuff before school starts. I only decided to clean my room up when i relized i had lost one of my favorite shirts, now i know that sounds stupid, but i really like this shirt. I found it underneath my bed. So I ended up cleaning my whole room, and it made me feel really good.

So as for today, its been pretty good. At least i have something to do today. I ate some pop-tarts, now I'm going to go shower. So i'll post more later today to tell you how it was .

Peace and Love
N_Z woot that looks cool ---> ग्रचिए

Something new to put my time into

I am a 17 year old girl [ as you can see in my picture ], I am a photographer [ or what I like to think of my self as ]. I go to school, I'll be a senior this year =]. I am quite the geek or dork as my friends call me. I have 4 very close friends who I trust my life with, Lauren, Carol, Shanna, and Krista. My other good friends are Daron, Lyell [ Lauren's boyfriend ], Liv, Kat, Jess, Jessy, and others. I talk about my friends a lot in my blogs, just so you know. I love my friends, and my family.

I live with my mom and step-dad. I am an only child. We have lots of animals in my house, I love animals, I think they are better then people. I hate summer, because I have nothing to put my time into. I love school because it takes up my time. I do not have a boyfriend, like all of my friends do. I had one, but we broke up on bad terms twice. I hate all the drama that comes with being in a relationship. With the ex-girlfriends and the rumors, it just to much I didn't need. I like guys who are mature and more grown up then the last guy I dated.

I am not religious. In fact I hate religion [ for this my mom says I will go to hell ]. I like to think that I don't need a reason for why I am on this Earth, but to maybe make art. I look at all of the old people who believe in religion and go to church every day, I think its because they need a reason to keep living. They need something to put their time in to. For me its art and school and my life, not religion. I believe in science, always have, hopefully always will. Now this is not to say I am a hypocrite, because I am getting Roserybeads tattooed on my left side, it has my own meaning on that.

I do like history, I like the historical reasons of religion, not religion itself. I love history actually, all types. I watch the history channel, and cartoon network, and that's pretty much it. I love the show Lost, but I am always confused when I watch it.

My parents call me a hippie, that its what most people think of me. I wear tie-die, and sandals, and hemp, etc. etc. I love people who are different then the "normal standards". I love people who express themselves.

Well I think this is good for now.

Peace and Love
-Nurse_Zombie